This isn’t for every problem, it doesn’t happen every day, and it isn’t achievable with just any group of people. But sometimes, under exactly the right circumstances, you might be lucky to find yourself in a discussion where everything and everyone seem to just.. click.
Although the discussion starts out with many and drastically different points of view, the atmosphere is good and smooth and nice throughout. Everyone is respectful of each other and make sure that there’s enough space for anybody that wants to make a point. Arguments are given and accepted in good faith. Participants iterate and build on each other’s ideas and will help to argue viewpoints different from, and even opposite to, the ones they started with. This isn’t done out of a feeling of fairness or to make someone feel good, but because one sees an important point that strengthens another person’s argument. Similarly, everybody pitches in with reasons why some arguments are weaker than they otherwise seem. It doesn’t matter who brought up which argument; everybody understands that the point is to find the best possible solutions under the current constraints, and nobody keeps score.
When everyone has contributed what they want and the discussion dies out, the path forward has hopefully become clearer. The group makes the best decision it can with the information available. Incentives are aligned just right: everyone is in the same boat and, win or lose, the responsibility, the outcome, and the rewards of the decision is shared within the group.
I participated in one of these discussions today. I’m happy that I didn’t notice what was happening until it was almost over. I’m afraid that I would’ve sat in awe and ruined the moment and the flow of conversation by making everyone aware.
When the meeting had ended and we were packing up, I did mention it. Everyone agreed that it had been a great experience. Today was a great day!